… Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. - Mary Schmich.
He Loves Me Not.
Fun with photoshop. Fun with art. Fun with expression.
I knew this would be my hardest to write. These write ups so far have been positive… they are about things and people that I am so lucky to have in my life. This one is about someone that will never be in my life again… equally lucky because of that.
To include him is a risk… because I don’t want people to turn away from what ELP is about: fun-loving, full of life people and photography… but to not include him would be a bigger risk because it would make this list, of TRUE inspirations, a lie. Sometimes it is those people we can’t or shouldn’t have in our lives that are most inspiring for that reason alone… they come, then they go… but leave us for reasons beyond knowledge or for good reason… blindly, they’re role is not to get us down but to pick us back up and remind us of where we should be going.
We all have variations of this person… she or he that made us or continues to make us question our goodness, our life, our destiny, our happiness… our worth. It could be that girl that never gives you the time of day, the boss that never acknowledges your contributions, or the man that promises you happiness but doesn’t even knew what a true promise nor true happiness is. As humans, we naturally seek acceptance or love from others… some more than others. It is innate to want to love someone and be love in returned. It is normal to want praise for your hard work. But where we get so lost is that these acceptances can not come to fruition without initial acceptance and love of ourselves. OH WOW, that sounds so 18th century, self-help book, it sounds so cliche… and I’ll be the first to admit that I love cliches… but they’re common and over-used for a reason… they’re true… or 96% of them-ish. This, like many bittersweet things in life, is cyclical. Sadly, yet obviously, you have to be hurt to get better, you have to fall in order to stand back up.
This person in my life has been an amazing inspiration. Quite frankly and rudely, inspiring me to understand exactly what I never want to be in my life. BUT at the same time, reflecting on my own faults, by being out of my life this ‘goodbye guy’ allowed me to stop being the person I was becoming… therefore, like most of my past inspirations listed, saving my life. I’m not going to speak specifically on the situation but let it be left with a few THANK YOUs. Thank you for making me question my path. Thank you for letting me realize the pain I was causing myself in not saying goodbye. Thank you for holding me back so I can understand how great it is to be set free. Thank you for helping me truly understand the power of friendship. Thank you for making me a better friend, partner, daughter, sister. Thank you for humbling my happy and sad moments. Thank you for renewing my love of art and expression. Thank you for reaffirming the love of my family. Thank you for testing my strength therefore allowing me to see how much I have. Thank you for bringing me to understand the power and plan of God. Thank you for letting me love me again. Thank you for saying goodbye.
These people have their own path. And as hurtful as it may seem to you and as destructive it may seem to your purpose… have faith and be grateful in the perfect cliche, ‘Time will heal all’ for it applies to your ‘goodbye guy’ and you. I am so lucky to have had this person in my life… because, despite his plan or what his actions ruined at first, my experience through having and now not having him, have been life- and value-affirming. We should all be so lucky… as odd as it sounds… to have a person like this come and LEAVE our life… Their recklessness may truly prove to be the thing that brings you back to whole… or even gets you there in the first place. That being said… don’t be afraid of saying goodbye yourself.
WHEW… that was easier than I thought it was going to be. As always, thanks for reading… tomorrow two more… very happy, very acceptable inspirations! :) I welcome your comments or criticism always… and feel free to let loose your ‘goodbye guy’ (or ‘goodbye girl’) story… erika@erikaleighphotography.com.
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